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Dodge the Man (04.16.04)


It was my first visit to Nelson and I knew little about the town. All I really knew is that it was in the Kootenays, and I faintly remember someone mentioning it was the single lesbian mother capital of North America. Moments after rolling past the welcome sign I was informed that Nelson is also a draft dodger town. I remember this mainly because it was the first I ever heard of the notion that an entire town could be built by draft dodgers. Shortly thereafter I realized dodgers also exploded Nakusp, New Denver, and Kaslo.

Well, if you believe it, they're at it again. Yup, at this very moment US recruiting offices are forcing many citizens to flee their homes because they fear their government. Since the war in Iraq was declared over, it's been tough to keep up with details other than the daily death toll. Personally, I try not to pay much attention to what they're allowed to tell us. However, on occasion, information is leaked that simply baffles any notion of common sense.

Now, I am far from a expert, but I am confident of two things: One, the Gaza strip is never "lovely this time of year". Two, If you're looking to restore order in Iraq you don't bomb a mosque. You certainly don't bomb it in mid prayer. At least when that medicine factory was bombed they pretended to think it was a "military complex." Not this time, as George W Bush (an army deserter himself) said "War is hell." Hell like the one he's headed for since I'm pretty sure bombing a mosque in mid prayer is asking for some serious karma. I'm not exactly sure which one, but I'm willing to bet my first communion card that some god is mighty pissed at Dubya right now.

To make matters worse, shore leave has been canceled and all soldiers still alive after their tour have been ordered back to work. Now Marines are actually coming to Canada declaring refugee status. No surprise since the only thing really accomplished in Iraq is the unification of arch enemies the Sunnis and Shiites; there's a party you just don't want to be invited to.

Of course, there's a catch. Before you free thinkin' refugee deserters get too comfy here in Canada there is something you should know. Any moment now we're going to have a federal election. It's pretty much assured that the Liberals will get in. However, if it truly is the end of the world, Steven Harper, leader of the Reformed Alliance party could be elected. In that case, we too could be sending our children to die in Iraq just because the all mighty USA said to. I know it's stupid but it's true. So enjoy your time here in Canada, but just to be on the safe side, don't toss out your body bag until after the election.


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