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Mr. Magnorium's Wonder Emporium

Director: Zach Helm
Cast: Dustin Hoffman, Natalie Portman, Jason Bateman
Rated: G
93 minutes


The morning sun is about to rise, coffee is brewing, and your eyes haven’t quite opened as you dig in for that first spoonful of your favorite serial. Crunch to the left, crunch to the right… hang on. Something’s amiss. You look at the box again. The packaging looks like a favorite, but it doesn’t take more than a mouthful to realize you’ve been duped by a knockoff.

Where am I going with this? Well, Mr. Magorium’s Wonder Emporium’s packaging looks like Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, but brother, this is no Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.

Now it must be said that in some instances knockoffs can be better than the original. While this is true, for the purposes of this particular analogy, ‘better’ is not a word we’re going to use.

Dustin Hoffman is a poor man’s Willy Wonka, and his speech impediment (if that’s what it is, I’m still not sure) is horribly annoying. Not even the adorable Natalie Portman or superb Jason “they never should have canceled Arrested Development” Bateman could salvage this uninspired script.

This movie has one thing, eye candy. If that’s all you want, by all means, enjoy. Personally this movie isn’t bad enough to walk out of, but not good enough to recommend. What I will recommend is to do whatever you can to see “No Country For Old Men” fingers crossed that our theatre will get it in but if not, it’s guaranteed to be worth the drive to the city.

 


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